Love vs. Desire

As individuals, we all have our own perception of what love is. At times, we also try to justify what love should mean to another person, but that's a completely different topic for another day. Today, I would like to speak on how our perception of love and desire for another person(s) play key roles in our daily decisions.

I strongly believe that humans are naturally possessive beings similar to many other animals. However, how can we as intellectual beings identify the difference between desire and love? Is love desire or desire love? Can one be without the other?

Osho's comment simply reveals the realities of typical human behavior. When we see something attractive (whether human or not) we desire to possess it even when we do truly appreciate it. But why do we as humans always want to possess and appreciate? If we pick the flower that we appreciate for its immense beauty, but then it dies, do we still truly appreciate that flower? When we dispose of the dead flower, do we still appreciate the flower for the value we once saw? Does our desire for that flower diminish completely? Did we truly ever appreciate the flower? I find that we allow our want to possess that which is beautiful to mask the reality that in due time we may not continue to love what we once saw.

When it comes to defining what love means to you, I think it's important to understand the role desire plays in your life. Is your desire simply disguised as love which therefore justifies to you why you deserve to have and hold on? Do we allow desire to be disguised as love when all you really do is lust? How honest are you to yourself when it comes to truly understanding the difference between your love and desires?

It is important to understand the difference between attachment and love. Love can form a bond, however, when your love turns into an extreme attachment where you NEED that person, then perhaps it's not love you're feeling at all. Perhaps it's your want to possess. Eventually you may find yourself getting lost in this love, allowing things that your spiritual self struggles with, to flourish. You allow the shallow ego to rule, obscuring the true spiritual bond between your soul and theirs. Instead, perhaps you lack self actualization, perhaps you lack mindfulness, perhaps you're lacking the self love needed to continually identify yourself and your love as separate but one with your lover. Love is never toxic. Love is never hate. Love is simple and everlasting. When you love with the ego, you never truly love; but when you love with the spirit, with the soul, your love is divine.

Always love yourself. Be mindful of the ego. Love with the love of your God.

I came across this video that is not only intuitive but also addresses our selfish behaviors usually driven by fear. The point is that we all have the capability to love with true intentions, to experience void of fear, desires, and selfishness. This kind of love resides within us, we just need to acknowledge it. No one man or woman can fulfill every need, but if we love our own flaws, we are much more likely to love the flaws of our lover and genuinely cherish them for who they really are. The goal is not to fix, judge or hate as none of these are love. The goal is to escape society's definition of love (romanticized fairytales, selfish etc) and experience the love that thrives within our very beings. Listen to his words, and think of what love means to you.

Nameste.