Denial, Demons, Darkness and the Light

There's a dark side to everyone of us. Even the greatest of all men and women have a side to them that is immoral, evil, dishonest or anything of the like. We are all the same, we are all human, and we all have a dark shadow lurking within us against our light. It can subconsciously impact our lives or we can consciously allow our darkness to reign. Many of us try and keep ourselves a secret from the world because in reality we don't want others to know the spirits that live within us. We all want to be accepted. However, what I have found recently is that shining light on the darkness within ourselves may be the action we need to truly understand ourselves... to truly undress our soul... It may be what we need to see why we struggle... It may be what we need to embark on a new journey of self-awareness... It may be what we need to redefine our morality, and to truly experience the happiness dwelling within us.

First, let's talk about our past and how it may be the reason for our behaviors. Granted we should always take responsibility for our wrong doings, however, sometimes it's hard to see why we are the way we are. For me, growing up was interestingly challenging. I was the one trouble-maker in a very religious family. I grew to the point where I needed to protect myself from my loved ones. When I did something wrong, I developed a habit to do 2 things: not say anything at all when I did something for fear of disappointment and belittlement, and refrain from admitting it for as long as possible. I will admit that I have made poor decisions throughout my lifetime as we all have. I needed an excuse to justify to myself that if I keep my faults to myself, then I will never hurt or disappoint anyone at all... that perhaps I'd still have a chance to be accepted. However, these actions developed into heavy burdens I held onto in life. The reality is that I allowed my past, my way of thinking, my way of protecting myself to puppet my life. I came to the point where I had no idea that I was keeping secrets from those I truly loved and cared for. When I made mistakes and knew they would bring dismay, I tried my best to avoid letting others know that I made a selfish decision. The catch is that every time I held a secret in darkness, it would ALWAYS come to the light. Every time I disobeyed the little voice in my head, my parents, and God himself, my actions always revealed themselves. But in the end, that was one burden that I no longer had to bear.


The reality is that I have always had control over my actions, decisions, and how to handle any given situation I find myself in. I've always possessed the
scissors, by God's grace, to cut myself free from the interconnected loops of denial I created in my mind. We all have the power to cut ourselves free from what we have allowed the past to make us into... From what we do to ourselves in the present moment. Each moment we allow ourselves to be consumed by the power of darkness, we allow ourselves to dive
into a pool of misery. We deprive ourselves of a future, of reality, of happiness, of love, joy, peace, and genuine self-awareness. We make it almost impossible to change. However, the choice is ours and no one else's. We cannot change for someone else nor can we allow the values, judgements, scorns, and dehumanizing words of another person be the reason we change. We have to want it for ourselves absent of the physical realm. Only we have the power to pick ourselves up and push forward one step at a time. All we can do is pray for forgiveness from whomever grants it, forgive ourselves, and improve ourselves each moment of our lives. It's time to be honest, to make better decisions, to listen to that little voice, to take immediate responsibility for our actions, and learn of better ways to protect ourselves. It's time that we allow our vices to sit, to no longer impact our lives, to no longer strip us of happiness, understanding and selflessness. It's time that we submit to the higher and believe in ourselves.

The people that you may have hurt throughout your life have come and gone for a reason. Now is the time to look past the fog in your life and experience your true purpose. To allow the light to shine within your soul and dominate your darkness. Your dark spirit may never leave you entirely, but the reality is that now is the time that YOU and I take control of who we are and change our lives for the better. What being good means is left for you to define, what is morally just is left for you to define, and what is worthy is left for you to decide.
Don't let your past mistakes rule your life and depress you. Don't let the people you hurt convince you that you're a terrible person. We all deserve to give ourselves a second chance at life, at happiness, at peace. Trust me when I say that these people or events are simply lessons. Don't hold on, but progress forward to a better you for you really do not need them to succeed. Listen to yourself, identify the dark and the light, and choose the one that leads you to nirvana. You are not alone in your struggles and remember that NO ONE is a saint, no matter what they portray because in reality we are all trying to find the right path. So, here's your chance... release your burdens and take charge of your own life.

So tell me, what will you decide to do?

Nameste.