Now and Then
It's funny how life happens. One minute you swear that you're in love, let alone that you're the expert on love. But then life changes..."love" changes and all you see is a muffled slate. Then there's that moment when you realize that what you thought was meant to be was not meant to be at all. You're proposed soul mate was not merely one. Instead they were your security blanket. Once you really start to think about it, you begin to understand why somethings throughout your relationship never worked out. You begin to realize why they never wanted to converse with you about certain topics or attempt to connect with you on different levels other than a sexual one, or one filled with jealousy. Sometimes, even while I'm driving, I start thinking: why was I ever so entranced by you? I did love your smile and that burn in between you finger--it's your signature actually. But now, even now when I spend time with you, the connection that I could've sworn was there oh so long ago is vacant like it never existed. Instead of being endlessly puzzled by what was us, I just meditate upon ever lesson you've taught be, there's nothing more to take from you.
Now this guy... this guy I thought I'd never meet, I met. I guess it would happen where I meet you at school in such an amusing manner and here we are on day 81 still riding through. I like this, I like what I'm feeling, where we're going, what's happening, how we're connecting on levels that I clearly can't make sense out of. I would love to assume that just perhaps you could be my other half, but I don't know that yet. But like the person I am, I believe in fairytales filled with love and romance, and I believe that you and I could be the fairytale I've always dreamed of but never heard of.
So far, I've learned some stuff from you, and so far I enjoy ever piece of it. You're a different kind of person, and yes there could be someone just like you but the only you that I know is you. So what now? Let's just do what we said and just let it ride out and be unpredictable so that maybe one day I'll wake up and know for sure that it's right or that you're right for me. I still don't know, but I don't want to rush. All I want to do is hear your goofy statements and watch you clean your room since that's so amusing to me. Although at this moment your a few miles away from me, I do feel as if perhaps I've crossed your mind today.
It's funny because I usually have to catch myself using the word "love" when I describe something about you. I feel like it's too early and that I still need more, but there's this other part of me just wants to embrace everything you are even though I'm sure that I haven't seen it all. So let's see how our future unfolds together.
P.S. there are so many fluffy things I want to say, but I do have to try to at least keep my fantasy in some sort of check. But maybe one day...
Now this guy... this guy I thought I'd never meet, I met. I guess it would happen where I meet you at school in such an amusing manner and here we are on day 81 still riding through. I like this, I like what I'm feeling, where we're going, what's happening, how we're connecting on levels that I clearly can't make sense out of. I would love to assume that just perhaps you could be my other half, but I don't know that yet. But like the person I am, I believe in fairytales filled with love and romance, and I believe that you and I could be the fairytale I've always dreamed of but never heard of.
So far, I've learned some stuff from you, and so far I enjoy ever piece of it. You're a different kind of person, and yes there could be someone just like you but the only you that I know is you. So what now? Let's just do what we said and just let it ride out and be unpredictable so that maybe one day I'll wake up and know for sure that it's right or that you're right for me. I still don't know, but I don't want to rush. All I want to do is hear your goofy statements and watch you clean your room since that's so amusing to me. Although at this moment your a few miles away from me, I do feel as if perhaps I've crossed your mind today.
It's funny because I usually have to catch myself using the word "love" when I describe something about you. I feel like it's too early and that I still need more, but there's this other part of me just wants to embrace everything you are even though I'm sure that I haven't seen it all. So let's see how our future unfolds together.
P.S. there are so many fluffy things I want to say, but I do have to try to at least keep my fantasy in some sort of check. But maybe one day...
