Two Words, Eight Letters

The word "Take Care" brings back so many memories, all seemingly bad. Who knew that 2 four letter words could mean so much. We argue and say that the word "love" means a lot too, so I guess we really do have to watch the power of our words. 

Take care. Every time I think of even saying those words to someone else, I remember why I don't like them. I remember when you used to tell me take care every time we talked when it ended. It sounded like you were 100% gone forever. But you're not, so what now?

Within the past 24 hours, I made two bad decisions. Decisions that reminded me of why I even came across the words. I hurt someone, and didn't even know I would. 

They say that sex is either blinding or binding even when you least expect it. So I guess us doing so led one to another, which led ignorance to another and decisions to a goner. So, who misses out now? Me, twice. Thanks to the lack of self control, I repeatedly have to take care; or a least someone else has to. 

All that's left to say is that I have officially crossed over to the dark side yet again. But, why should it matter, eventually I was going to be told to take care in another 2 months, so I see it as something slightly good for us. But, what happens when you realize you actually care? Easy, you never want to leave.

But, just but, this is another lesson learned, another eye-opening moment where I realize that I've lost myself to selfish fleshly needs. I've slowly lost my respect, sanity and mind here at college, but this situation has opened my eyes to whom I have become. Life is hard and control is harder, however, it's necessary. 

Do I really need someone different? Yes, because if I don't, we'll end up trapping each other. Like he said, our generation is messed up, we don't want to be in love, we'd rather tell each other "take care" after our belts are buckled and bras' strapped. Instead of thinking to fall in love, to care and to want, we lust and never cherish the truth of one person. We are the selfish beings who only want what our minds can envision right now, instead of eternity. Coming from the mouth of a man, I respect him even though he may not believe it. It's hard to find one, so when you do, don't be selfish, be smart and let love happen. 

But in this situation, it's better that we both take care and move on. Even though you wanted to trust me and I you, assumptions and guesses lead to messes. If we didn't leave now, we'd both be lost. Lessons learned and meeting adjourned. Meditate on yourself and never forget that you come first and everyone else later. 

 

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