Dartmouth Commencement Speech by Conan O'Brien


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Tattoos

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So of course everyone knows that tattoos are a form of self expression and individuality. So I'm sure no one would be surprised if I say that I want to do the same for myself. The only problem is that I'm a sucker for pain and would rather remain blank then have to think about a needle constantly piercing my skin. However, the couraguoes side of me is saying "suck it up sucker!" So I want a tat of a lion and a snake 'doocking' it out in the Garden of Eden with color. So let's see how painful this will be =/.
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A World Full of Boxes

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Today... Let's be honest with ourselves. How many boxes do you have? No really... Tell me. If you're anything like the average human being you probably have this many multiplied by ten one hundred and one times. Don't be ashamed, because as I dive deeper into myself, I realize that I own a pile of boxes as well. Now you may ask, where am I going with this? Here's one simple answer. Each box holds a different assumption about the world and everything in it. Each box is specialized, coated with an emotion either good or bad. Each box is stored within your heart, mind, and soul. Each box may not be fully understood. Each box may be the reason why your life may not seem favorable. Let's dive into ourselves at this moment to understand why these boxes exist. What is an assumption and how do they form? The human brain remains as a mass phenomena that scientists and spiritualist continue to explore in the aspirations of full understanding. Now, as we see fit or co...
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An Uncanny Abundance

A bit of heaven lives in all of us--            The essence of God, The peace of living. Yet in the epitome of ignorance Arrogantly reigns in a fleshly realm Of Savage beings... Scrounging for consciousness; No... for avid happiness Only once attained by the cycle Of earthling pleasure Merely seen through the eyes of one deity-- Fate.
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